Rev. Jim Anderson holds a Masters level education from seminary and an ordination from the Evangelical Church Alliance, a parachurch organization that allows him to operate as an independent minister, with accountability to a Christian body outside of the church. His life experiences have taught him the importance of family relationships, especially marriage relationships. He has developed a heart for helping new couples succeed by giving them the skills to avoid the mistakes that cause so many marriages to fail. He deeply cares about every couple he serves and their relationship. He cares deeply about the institution of marriage. He is approved to administer both the Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis and the PREPARE/ENRICH Inventory, and has taken the time to put together a complete premarital program that will maximize a couple’s success in marriage. He provides all of the elements listed below in his premarital counseling sessions.

Premarital Counseling Benefits
 There is a myth about Premarital counseling, that it is a burden. Some think that pastors burden couples with this to simply add more hurdles to reaching the wedding day. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

In addition to the wedding minister being able to get to know the couple more intimately before he officiates their wedding, Premarital counseling when done correctly, helps the couple get a solid start to their marriage. Nothing is more important in planning a wedding, than planning the marriage itself. The wedding is simply the beginning of a lifetime together. That makes Premarital counseling a critical element in creating a successful marriage. Don’t get caught in the trap of not paying proper attention to this element of planning your wedding, and letting your wedding officiate minimize the importance of this.

Research has shown that good premarital preparation can reduce the divorce rate by 30%. A number of states currently offer discounts on the marriage license fee for couples that have completed premarital counseling. The number of hours required varies between 4 and 12 hours. This certainly makes a statement about the desirability of doing premarital counseling.

So how do you know that your premarital counseling is being done correctly? You work with a pastor or a minister that has obtained a degree in seminary at a graduate level and has put together a premarital course of sessions that provide the following:

A Family History Analysis
  • You will become more aware of how each family will influence your marriage.
  • You will develop a strategy to manage family influence on the marriage.
The Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis Inventory and review
  • You will become more aware of your feelings about yourself and your fiancé, and your fiancé will become more aware of his feelings about himself and about you.
  • You will discover areas of your relationship that may become a challenge and develop a strategy for minimizing its negative impact on your marriage.
  • You will discover strategies for personal growth that will enhance your marriage relationship.
The PREPARE/ENRICH Inventory and review
  • You will be able to assess both the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship more accurately before you are married.
  • You will develop strategies to improve your relationship in:
Communication
Conflict Resolution
Sexual Relationship
Financial Management
Realistic Expectations
Religious Orientation
Equalitarian Roles
Family and Friends
Children and Marriage
Personality Issues
Leisure Activities
Idealistic Distortion

A more in depth relationship with the minister to enhance the ceremony
  • The wedding minister develops a deeper understanding of who you are as a couple, which will be reflected in the ceremony, and therefore create an enhanced wedding experience.
  • The wedding minister will be more aware of family dynamics and be able to better minister to you and your family before and on the wedding day.
  • Information and resources to learn more about marriage relationships
  • You will be provided with a significant amount of resources to use in continuing to nurture your marriage long after the wedding.
  • You will be well educated on what it takes to build and maintain a successful marriage.
A better understanding of yourself and your partner
  • You will both become more mature and balanced individuals, and thus more prepared to enter into a marriage relationship.
  • You will be prepared to respond to your fiancé’s personal challenges in marriage with love and understanding.
  • A better relationship with your parents
  • Harmonious relations will characterize your relationship with your in-laws.
  • You will make the most of your new family and have healthy relationships with extended family.
  • You will minimize any negative impact of extended family on your marriage relationship.
A better relationship with each other
  • You will increase the odds of success of your marriage significantly.
  • You will live a happier life.
  • You will have a greater chance of realizing your dreams of a happy family.

What You Get With The Full-Course of Pre-Marital Counseling
The Pre-Marital program is comprehensive. It includes a Family History Analysis, the Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis Inventory, and the PREPARE/ENRICH Inventory. It also includes a large number of resources for you to access to dig deeper into any of the unique issues you are facing as a couple, whether this is a second marriage or a multi-cultural marriage, or if you need more support in the potential challenge you have.

The Premarital program is designed in a minimum of six sessions; however, it could take 12 sessions to complete. Prior to the first session you will have some homework to do. You will make a list of 10 reasons why it is time in your life to get married and a list of 10 reasons why you want to marry this person. You will also complete a Family History Analysis, the Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis, and the PREPARE/ENRICH Inventory. All these items will be reviewed in the sessions you will attend. There are also a number of assignments for you as a couple outside of the counseling sessions to complete, which will require a bit of a time investment. These assignments are designed to help give you the tools you need to build a successful marriage.

All of this material will be covered in your sessions and you’ll be referred to other resources based on your unique situation that would be of most benefit to you.

If you opt to only have one or two sessions, then you will receive significantly different content in your sessions. My primary goal in this case is to learn more about you as a couple and make a quick assessment of what you can do as a couple to improve your chances of being successful in your marriage. My ordaining body requires that I provide at least one Premarital counseling session, so this one session is required if I perform your wedding. I would encourage you to at least take the PREPARE/ENRICH Inventory and attend sessions with me for interpretation and application of that program if you do nothing else.
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© 2011 Jim Anderson